Shattered Idols
by Shibby510
Summary: Draco is excited to attend his Death Eater initiation. However, it does not go according to plan. He quickly realizes that the man his father taught him to idolize is just a man. A man who, apparently, has no control over his bodily functions.


Draco Malfoy followed his father through the shadowy halls of the manor that they had apparated to. He could feel the excitement thrumming through his entire body. It was the night of his initiation as a Death Eater, and he had been looking forward to this moment for what felt like forever. He smirked as he saw his friends from Slytherin waiting with their parents for the meeting to start. They had been anticipating this night for months, ever since their parents had told them about it. Draco saw his friends speaking quietly to each other. He wanted to join them, but he was a Malfoy. He had more class than that.

A hush fell over the crowd as Voldemort entered the room. He walked to the large, ornate chair on a raised platform at the front of the crowd. He gave a chilling smile as he regally slid his gaze over the abundance of followers.

"Welcome, my Death Eaters. It makes me proud to see how many of your children are willing to join our ranks. I am most pleased to-"

Voldemort was cut off by a loud bout of flatulence. He froze at the sound. Everyone looked around to find the source before realizing that it came from the front of the room. Draco knew immediately who it had come from. Being a Malfoy, he had been trained to hide his emotions. He was able to successfully crush down the laugh that wanted to bubble up. Pansy, however, was not so fortunate. Her giggle echoed through the room before she managed to cut it off. Draco tore his eyes away from Pansy's red face when Voldemort cleared his throat.

"On that particular note, I feel the need to share that Goyle, Sr. prepared beans for supper. Not that it has any bearing on the events that occur here tonight."

That time, Draco had to look at the floor to hide his smile. He coughed into his hand when his father dug the handle of his cane into his side.

"Now, as I was saying," Voldemort said, imperially. "I am most pleased to-"

Again, Voldemort was cut off. Only this time, the flatulence that escaped him was drawn out, high-pitched, and squeaky. Voldemort's face became pinched and pained.

"You're all dismissed,"

Draco's father chose that moment to speak up. "My Lord, what about the initiation?"

Voldemort spoke through gritted teeth. "Another day, Lucius. You're all dismissed. Go."

Everyone stood silent and still, not quite believing what was happening.

"Now!" Voldemort roared.

Everyone jumped before rushing out the room. Draco and Lucius were the last two walking through the doorway. Draco barely made it out the door before he began laughing when Voldemort let out a sigh of relief and farted once more. He winced as he father poked him with his cane, again.

"You better hope the Dark Lord didn't hear that, Draco," Lucius hissed.

"You mean like we all heard him?" Draco chuckled.

Lucius glared. "We will not speak of this here."

Lucius grabbed Draco's arm and apparated home. He stalked over to his liquor cabinet to make a glass of Firewhiskey.

"Son, do you realize what the Dark Lord could do to you if you displease him?"

Draco rolled his eyes. "I hate to break it to you, Father, but your 'all-powerful' Lord is not actually all-powerful."

"He is still more powerful than you. He has tortured followers for less than laughing at him."

"Father, you do realize that it was he who had such bad flatulence tonight? I apologize, but I will never be able to look at him the same way. You painted a picture of a man who knew everything, could do anything, and was almost on par with the gods. I saw nothing of that in the man who sat in that chair tonight. His behavior was downright plebian. That is the kind of behavior that you could expect from a Weasley. Or Potter," Draco added, as an afterthought.

"You dare to compare the Dark Lord to a Weasley? If you were not my only son and heir, I would kill you where you stand," Lucius said, eyes narrowed.

"Think of it this way, Father. If anyone else had behaved like that, what would you think? What would you do? Better yet, think of what you would have done if I had done that? You and I both know that if I had done that, you would have berated me for being an embarrassment to the Malfoy name. You would have locked me in my room for a week for daring to exhibit a disgusting bodily function in public. I want you to think about that. Then, I want you to think about whether or not following a man who farts in public, not just once but twice, before yelling at everyone to leave so he can continue in private is in our family's best interest."

Draco walked out of the room without a backward glance. Lucius watched him go until he could no longer hear Draco's footsteps, informing Lucius that Draco was far away. Once he was sure that Draco was out of hearing distance, he started chuckling. He allowed himself a few moments to indulge before sobering up. It was true that Lucius would have looked down his nose at anyone else who had done that. It was possible that Draco had a point. He would certainly have to give it some thought. Lucius took his glass of Firewhiskey with him as he made his way to his bedroom. While he would not do so in front of his son, Lucius wanted to have a good laugh in the privacy of his room.


End file.
